Are Big. Sexy. Bitches. They work what they have, and they have lots, like they're a catwalk strutting sex machine. You can chart their passing by the series of "What the fuck?" expressions on the faces of people they walk past. They wear outfits that normal people with any sense of shame would pass up just on principle. See through spandex pants and a halter top that was part of a pajama set for someone under the age of 12? You bet these ladies are rocking THAT outfit.
I'm searching for answers here. Why does a woman go out dressed like this? I've put forth a few ideas.
- They ACTUALLY think they look good. Perhaps they have reverse anorexia. (Looking in a mirror and seeing a thin person)
- Someone TOLD them they look good. Maybe a boyfriend who likes 'em hella chunky and is in heaven, or a spiteful skinny friend who only hangs out with huge ladies to make themselves look better.
- Literally everything else they own was in the wash. Literally. Bedsheets, draperies and all. And they had no choice but to throw on someone else's clothes to go out at 2am for toilet paper and chips.
- They have no clue what they look like to other people, and don't have the "Oh Honey No." friend. (The "Oh Honey No" friend is that person who will honestly, no hesitation, tell you when you look like a fool. Usually a best girlfriend, or a gay male friend, these people are a valuable asset.)
And you have to wonder... if the outfit they chose to wear out in public, in front of other human beings is so mind bogglingly awful... what do THEY set aside as being too much?
She's gotta save it to wear to church.
When it comes to dealing with White Trash, there is a perfect solution: cash in. White trash should be filmed, and the videos sold to production companies.
ReplyDeleteFrom experience, I can tell you that it can be very, VERY profitable. There is an insatiable market outside the U.S. for videos of American White Trash.
More than five years ago, a white trash family moved into Battery Ridge at Sully Station II, our housing development right outside Washington, D.C. The people are appalling—trashy, obese parents, horse-faced slut daughters, bastard grandkids. The whole outfit was immediately deemed “The White Trash Express”.
However, my spouse works for an international company and knew what to do: film the skanky outfit and sell the films to European sources. We started filming them the third day after they moved in, and have been filming them ever since.
We’ve captured some priceless stuff, much of which is so funny I still scream in laughter every time I see the videos. The videos have been aired on numerous European television stations and are available for sale in over fifteen European countries. These white trash morons have been viewed by millions of persons and don’t even know it!
We have a joke in our household: the skanky mother of “The White Trash Express” may be a cow, but she is a CASH COW.
OUR cash cow.
We have turned her into our own personal retirement plan!