There seems to be only a handful of different customer subspecies who wander around in the middle of the night. To keep myself amused I'm going to start cataloging them for future reference.
To start- The Trailer Park Princess.
The hair of these people is always blonde. Bleached Blonde. Like bleached with Clorox bleached, uneven, streaky, roots showing, and for some reason they always wear their hair like girls who never stopped being in middle school. In the 80's.
The face can vary, more often than not you'll find them with eyebrows plucked and redrawn somewhere else on their face, turquoise eye shadow, and the crusting remains of lip-liner for makeup.
You cannot be a TPP unless you have the name of your Baby Daddy tattooed in cursive on your neck. Hopefully his name is something awesome, like BJ Monee, or SuckaFu. Your own name is of course to be tattooed on the back of your upper shoulder. The requisite butterfly/flower/fairy tattoo is to go on an ankle.
The TPP will always have a small filthy child of unidentifiable gender with them, much like a celebrity carries around a little dog.
The wardrobe (at 3 am mind you) consists of a t-shirt which manages to be oversized and still not cover their 'butt in the front'. Almost always has a Looney Tunes character (Winnie the Pooh characters also accepted) on the front, and is covered in mystery stains. A pair of men's Nascar sleeping bottoms is usually substituted for real actual pants, and either house shoes or dirty flip flops are worn on the feet. Also, no bra is to be worn out in public later than 9pm so if you see a TPP avert your eyes quickly.
The TPP comes from a matriarchal society, so be prepared to see her in a herd along with her TPP sisters and mother, the Trailer Park Queen.
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